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Life with Jen

Jeff has been making noises about creating a blog entirely devoted to the silly things I do (his euphemism for the stupid shit I do). I've decided to beat him to the punch.

Here is an edited list of recent silly Jen events:

1. I ran into a Lexus in a parking lot. A Lexus. A gold Lexus.
2. Thirsty unto death, I ditched my shopping cart in Albertsons to go outside and purchase a water bottle. I drank all of said water bottle and returned to my cart in the store.
3. I recently decided that white wine (all white wine, not just tasty wines like Pinot Grigio and Riesling) should be consumed by the bottle.
4. I treat the cat like she is a real person. I also feed her like a real person. She really likes chicken that has been poached in chicken broth and 1 bay leaf.
5. I recently ate dog food with the CEO of the company where I work. Don't ask.
6. Okay, the wine thing isn't really recent. I had previously decided this about beer, gin, and some forms of rum.
7. Bruno, the CEO's pit bull puppy, really likes my ass. He likes to run at me from behind, jump up, bite my ass, and hump my leg. It takes me back to times I'd rather not think of.
8. The best thing about Bruno, besides the humping, is that he always does it when I'm wearing something nice.

I think that is enough for now. I'm sure there are more embarrassing events I should relate. But I've blocked them out. I think it is better this way.

posted by Jen @ 9:25 PM